Ayesha’s Blog

Walking in the room… thinking nothing, sitting on the bed… thinking nothing… staring at the roof… thinking nothing… looking at the hands (palm)… again thinking nothing… is this what you called blankness? I don’t know about people I know about myself… its blankness… darkness deep down in myself

Trying hard… real hard to survive… survive like anyone around me… survives for the one who needs me not for the ones who ignore me or the one who are not even concerned about me…

But how? When you don’t feel like surviving? How you survive for your loved ones?

I keep staring at the roof when I go to sleep; I think nothing… simply nothing… I see darkness all around me… and yes… I hear weird kind of silence… am not scared… not at all

Am worried… yes… am worried for my loved ones… I want to make them happy very happy… and proud of me…. But I just can’t convince myself to stop thinking… but then when there is nothing am thinking about then what is wrong with me? Am weird… yes am weird…

Maybe the past making me think? But what? I just can’t get it…

Yaad –e- maazi azaab hai ya Rab
Cheen le mujh se hafza mera…

*sigh*